You won’t be able to sleep…
Even though you’re training twice a day for six days a week at such intensity, you would still find yourself wide awake in the middle of the night and it’s the strangest thing.
My body is exhausted. I know this cause my body knows this. It tells me through the pain in my feet and the soreness in my neck. It hurts to get up, it hurts to lie down. It hurts to laugh, to breathe (even to brush my teeth in the morning).
We often talk about it during dinner and discuss theories of this strange phenomenon.
Could it be the difference in timezones?
Perhaps it’s the food.
Maybe it’s the intensity of the training. But shouldn’t exercise aid you in sleep?
We don’t know, we’re tired.
I would be laying on my bed and my shoulders would jerk out involuntarily from throwing punches all day—courtesy of muscle memory. But when we finally did fall asleep, our dreams took on a whole new reality, creating far more vivid and lucid images that our subconscious mind could barely comprehend.
I had a one such dream the other night; I can’t remember what it was. It was four in the morning and I burned from the heat of the night in the dark room of the camp. I awoke, fearful and in doubt of every decision I had ever made. I questioned everything I had ever done in life from birth up till this moment. A million thoughts raced through my mind and in that moment of confusion and vulnerability came clarity of the highest condition.
In that moment, I understood everything.
That true joy and understanding do not come from comfort and safety; they come from epiphany born in exhaustion (and not exhaustion for its own sake). That nothing in this world is worth having or doing unless there is pain and difficulty and that there are some things in this world you simply must fight for to preserve.